Humor
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With hours to kill in the van on the European tour I decided to document a few of the funny things that happened in cartoon form (I'm not much of a cartoonist but I did my best). Of course most of it is highly exaggerated.

The adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 1)
The adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 2)
The adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 3)
The adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 4)
The adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 5)

The further adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 1)
The further adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 2)
The further adventures of The Welsh Git (Part 3)

Kurt gets helper (part 1)
Kurt gets helper (part 2)
Kurt gets helper (part 3)
Kurt gets helper (part 4)
Kurt gets helper (part 5)
Kurt gets helper (part 6)

Tommy looks for phone box in Poland

The Stage Switch (Part 1)
The Stage Switch (Part 2)

The "loyal" German fans drink the bands beer (part1)
The "loyal" German fans drink the bands beer (part 2)

After The tour - Alvins Tuner

 

We had the pleasure of playing with T.S.O.L., The Business, D.R.I., D.O.A., and a ton of other bands on the Social Chaos tour. In case you didn't know "The Business" are a Skinhead/Oi band out of the UK - a great bunch of guys. The UK Subs came up with list of things you're unlikely to hear coming from their van. - If the Business take offence to this light hearted roast, please be advised that it was all the French Tee Shirt girl "Fi Fi's" idea!

Top 10 things you won't hear inside "The Business" tour van:

10. "Does anyone have any lemonade, this strong American Beer needs watering down."
09. "Hey guys, our Jean-Paul Gaultier endorsement came through!"
08. "I sure wish the fans would desist from singing along. They're ruining our 3-part harmonies."
07. "Hey Beki [Bondage], can we borrow your hair-dryer?"
06. "Mickey [Fitz] is a great frontman, but he can't accessorize!"
05. "No beer for me, it's my turn to drive!"
04. "Mickey, have you remembered to re-new our Maradonna fan-club subscription yet?"
03. "Well I believe the Olive' version of 'Henry the V' is far superior to the Braner production. What do you think Tezz?"
02. "Next person to use my make-up gets their head kicked in!"
01. "Argentina beat us fair and square!"

Jacek Ostoya from Ten Bright Spikes Emailed me this joke.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, including drinking his own urine, he suffered from bad breath. In fact he's often discribed as:

A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis
.


Found Floating On The Web

Here are some funny photos and videos of some stuff we found on the Internet:

   s.c.bob'sdreamthum.JPG (10723 bytes)This photo of  D.O.A.'s roadie "Bob" was sent in by the D.O.A. crew. Click on image to see his dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Punk Corner - Ask Syd Snott

Q: Dear Syd, I think my wife is fooling around with some punk kid while I’m at work. How can I trap this jerk? Darran Collins - Chicago IL

A: When you go to work, leave a big bag of $100 bills and a six pack on the green night stand on Maggy’s side of the bed every day for a month.

Q: How do I get our guitar player to shut the fuck up at rehearsals?  Don (Rat Bastards) - Dayton OH

A: Put sheet music in front of him.

Q: What’s it like to be a rebel, Syd? Cathy - Dallas TX

A. Well I’ll tell you Cathy, I go where I want, when I want I’m as free as a bird - no one tells me what to do... Oh hold on, yes mum, ok, yes I’ll clean my room up later, mum... I’m doing an important phone Question and answer for NRA. Yes I picked up the groceries, no it’s not the National Rifle Association. Mum can we talk later.....Snot.JPG (48473 bytes)


Q: When I'm running from the Jocks, I find my bondage pants very restrictive. What hell I do? - Bondo-St Louis MO

A: Always carry a couple of cabbages with you and install elastic bondage straps on your pants. This way you can simply lay on you're back with you're legs up forming a giant catapult and fire the cabbage's at them. Jocks hate that!

Q: Syd, I have so many safety pins and such in my face I can't go through the airport metal detector, and if I get searched they'll find all the bombs I've got. - Ann Elk Richmond VA

A: I usually throw up on myself, this discourages most guards from searching you. Storing dog shit in you're pockets helps too.

Q: Dear Syd, how do I get my hair to look like Syd Viscous? - Stu Pidd - Atlanta GA

A: Kill yourself and be dead for about fifteen years.

Q: How can I stop the new punk kids laughing at my collection of Business and 4 Skins records? Joey Booga - Trenton NJ

A: Buy a rubber stamp that says FAT Wreck Chords. Stamp the jackets of your record collection and then play them at 45 RPM instead of 33.

Q: Being a punk is great, but as I don't work I'm always broke. So I'm really depressed, what can I do? - Mal Content - Dallas TX

A: Cheer up! I own two record shops and a string of clothing stores, and drive a Rolls Royce, yet I moved to Chicago only two years ago from rural Michigan with just the clothes on my back. Oh yeah and my $3,000,000 inheritance.

Q: Dear Syd, my Girlfriend hates oral sex, what should I do? - Frustrated, Tampa FL

A: Can't help you on that one Frustrated, my girlfriend 'Spot' loves it.

Q: Dear Syd, Fat Wreck Chords keeps on sending us junk mail. What should we do? - Jim Puke, Maggie Trash, Dot Communist, Billy Goat - San Diego CA

A: Start a band, they'll sign you and take you off the mailing list, trouble is though, they'll send you loads of money then.

Q: Help! Syd I'm out of control on drink and drugs, last week I smashed my mum's TV against the wall in a drunken stupper and then proceeded to piss on the carpet. - The Walrus - Konosha WI

A: So?